Breaking Free from the Comparison Cycle

Last week the conversations that I have had in my circles have been around the theme of comparison. Of course but naturally, I would be speaking about it in this week’s newsletter. These comparisons are mostly felt by moms feeling insecure in their motherhood journeys. Especially if you are a working mom, the insecurities are higher.

"How does she connect with her son/daughter so effortlessly?"

"How is that mother engaging her children so well?"

“Am I as good as XYZs mom?”

And the feeling which comes with it is of unworthiness and self doubt. Two major gender inhibitors in women. So let’s explore comparison as an emotion and how to navigate it.

𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝘆 𝗱𝗼 𝘄𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲?

Psychotherapist Erika Ames says, “Women are often implicitly trained to look to others for permission and to make sure they’re doing it right. And that urge only gets stronger when women become mothers."

"We also make comparisons because we’re innately social beings who yearn for high-quality relationships and worry what others will think", says Jill A. Stoddard, PhD, a psychologist.

That is to succinctly put why we do that!

Healthy comparison is fine but when social media posts start making us feel unworthy and not good enough as a mother compared to someone else, it is time to work through it.

𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗻𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗴𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗼𝗻 -

1. Work on your triggers
   Which is that one element that triggers you the most? Is it social media posts about how other children are being perfectly fed by other mothers? Or is it mommy gatherings where another mother is efficient as hell with her kids?

   Identifying the trigger will help you to realise your own truth. And why is this external factor shaking me off?

   And then work on the triggers
   

2. Be kind to yourself
   So one mom is great at making yummy lunches. Instead of feeling unworthy about it, be kind to yourself. Ask yourself, "What am I good at?" Be grateful for that. Then lean into how this attribute makes your kid feel? Be one with that gratitude and the energy.
   

3. Be with a supportive community
   Be with mothers and friends who make you feel fuller rather than small. Every mom I have met has had something which she wasn't very happy about. The more honest and vulnerable we are as mothers, the more it allows others to be honest. Hence a supportive community goes a long way.
   

4. Focus on the connection
   Rather than losing our mind on the things we do or do not do for our children, focus on the connection with our children. "How do I make my children feel?" "Do they feel loved and safe with me?"

   If your answer is 'yes', that's it!
   

5. Affirmations and Mantras
   Whenever you feel you are falling into a comparison game, use affirmations and mantras. You can create your own too. Here are a few -

   "I am good enough as a mother".

   "I honour my feelings and work on it".

   "I am great at ________".

I invite you to read and take on this email and see what resonates for you. Even read it a few times this week, and you will catch something new each time.

Hit reply,

Vent

Speak out

Share it out

Speak out what is your truth behind closed doors, and you wish to untangle.

​All woman are so fucking courageous in their soul that they are made to navigate this. I have never met one that isn't.

All women are so fucking unique, yet we can seem to unknowingly block how we feel and experience ourselves- when such depths of how we see, taste and be who we are genuinely is SUBLIME.

Your reply could be your micro step to admitting to yourself that you are ready to change the way you approach these times, your existence because you MATTER. It could acknowledge how your self-development journey is so committed, yet you have never celebrated it.

Enjoy......

I love you all.

Xx Pradnya xX

PS:
As a Women's Day inititaive, my goal is to reach 1000 plus women with the webinar - Unveiling The Patterns of Successful Women Leaders. This webinar is created with an intention to support women enter leadership roles with confidence. It is a free webinar. If you think the women in your organization can benefit with it, hit reply to discuss further.

The juicy things happening in my life in upcoming weeks...

1. I will be replying to all of you who email me your insights on this newsletter.
   

2. For the entire month of March, I will be talking about self doubt on my LinkedIn. Peeling off more layers for you to navigate this emotion in a better way. We deserve to be liberated and lead a freer life! Join Soar Beyond Self Doubt here.
   

3. The Rise Sisterhood is bigger and better. Starting the next cohort in March 2024. A place where you awaken your gifts and navigate one block each week. Along with receiveing weekly guidance from me.