Met every deadline. Missed every sunset.

Shibani who worked most of her child's growing years was crying vehemently. In between sobs she said, "I could not attend any PTMs. Neither her annual gatherings. I had to travel a lot for my work".

And now her daughter is 12 years old.

Shibani is a partner at a legal firm at only 41 years old. But she is realising all of the achievements, accolades and this partnership is hollow. There is no sense of fulfillment that she has in her career achievements. And there is a reason why.

And at that pivot point is when she started thinking "Something needs to change".

As we dived deeper, here is what came up:

• Shibani was not valued enough at home by her in laws. Whatever she would do, it was not good enough. To the contrast, at work she was mostly applauded. Shibani felt included at work rather than her home. And so she started investing more time at work.
  

• When their daughter was born, Shibani was constantly made to feel that she was not doing a good job with motherhood. Her breast milk supply was low and the stress made it even lower. With no support to better that, she started drifting apart from her daughter. Breastfeeding was the only time when she was in close proximity with her daughter forming that connection with her.
  

• When she joined work post 6 months, she was just happy to be out of the home. And back to where she thought she was valued. And the distance between her daughter and her increased.

Shibani realised how much time has passed by and how far they have drifted apart, when her daughter went to her father to tell about her first period. That was it! That was when Shibani realised, the gap that was created. And I know, there are many high achieving women who have a similar story.

So sharing, here is what I did in a span of 6 months and 12 one on one sessions:

• The first and foremost was to work on the immense guilt that was stored in her body. Through somatic movements removed it first. Then worked on her emotional stress built up making her realise what she did was best in that situation. And that being kind to herself first is going to be the foundation.
  
  We worked on the guilt by peeling its layers. Asking what lies beneath her guilt, to the point where we see the root cause. And what came up was Shibani never felt enough at home as a wife, daughter in law and now as a mother too. She kept on comparing herself with others. Then we worked on this root cause by focusing on what she did great in these relationships, how no one is perfect and motherhood is all about growing with experiences and not about knowing it all on the first day.
  

• Forgiving herself. This was the most difficult part. It took us the most sessions. She cried. She yelled. There were tears and shouts and hair pullings. And then there was acceptance of what is. And then came the forgiveness.
  
  For this we had to literally pull out the hurt, the pain and the “I am not good enough” pieces stuck in her body. This was done by intuitively seeing where is it stuck in her body and then using powerful tools to remove it from the body first. Then work on the emotions. For this we worked on her heart chakra.
  

•  Rewriting her story. Wherever you are in your life, always remember you can always restart. There is always an opportunity to begin again. And so I asked her, if you had to rewrite your story and be the mom you want to be, what would you do?

  And she said without a blink of an eye, "Say sorry to my daughter. Be present for her."
  
  We practiced this so many times. It was so emotionally laden that we had to pause. Then work on the emotions. Then go back to practice again. So that she isn’t clouded by heavy emotions when she speaks her truth, rather communicate in a way where it is clear, authentic and coming from a space of love and not self criticism.
  

• Being together. Few sessions we spent with both of them together. Catching up on each others' feelings. Frustrations. Letting both of them to speak out. Lash out. Empty that anger stored inside.
  
  And then to hug it out. Healing both of them together. Navigating through the emotions and chaos. To finally have clarity.

This has been one of the intense one on ones I have ever had. Where I put 200% of my healing power.

And I want to say this to anyone who is reading this - Being an ambitious working man or a woman is not wrong. However most of us are running behind a so called success benchmark because society madebus believe it. Or to prove our value to someone. Or to run away from the reality of our homes. And this will collapse one day.

Yes, be that ambitious man and woman. But not because the society applauds you for being one. Rather because you want to be one!

PS: Shibani has now joined one of the Unity cohorts where she is learning how to release stress for herself. So that she can then teach other women like her to do the same.

And here is a recording for you to taste what it is like being inside Unity:
https://us06web.zoom.us/rec/share/dO_SZKA9ncxMBFDhPkzgBZ10Kp_PEalwMapwD-Zx9iRTlgOhsqaiWTmGZOAwPriz.gtCjzNXLaMwQhdJv

Passcode: C&4RJ$o3

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Love,
Xx Pradnya xX

The juicy things happening in my life in upcoming weeks...

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