To be or not to be, has always been a question derived by societal definitions

This week I have had two mind blowing conversations which I need to bring to all of you. One from my 1:1 call and the other from an email. And then beautifully intertwine these stories for today’s newsletter to deliver today’s gem 🙂 

First, let’s start with the email……

“I think I have led a large part of my life just going with the flow. After school, based on the %, I got into science, then IT, there was a campus placement and I got a job, all my friends were getting married and I did too, worked hard to get promoted and now here I am :). I dont think I ever stopped to think what I really want and what will make me content. I just did what I was supposed to do.”

If you resonate with this and are satisfied with where you are, I want to tell you, you are doing simply wonderful. There is nothing wrong in following the paths and flows that have been there in our culture for eons. There is something in these paths which have worked for so many of us. There is a meaning and a depth to it. There is a safety. There is solace. If you are content, take some time to sit and celebrate.

If you resonate with this and are at a same juncture as this woman, I want you to remind yourself first of the feat you have achieved so far. Of being so good at things even though you are not sure if this is 'your’ thing and path. Also all these years you have put in building this life is the foundation of your next clarity and questions. So no, you have not wasted any of this time till now. And that it is perfectly normal to be where you are because our nervous system feels safe here. We have been programmed by society to feel safe in this path which many have taken so far and have led decent lives. The brain cannot ignore that evidence completely.

The fact that you are asking this question now tells me that you are ready to explore. And the path ahead is going to be through your nervous system where we make the new neural pathways for this inning. So that you do not get anxious or overwhelmed on the way.

Let’s move to the second story in my 1:1 mentoring call…….

Over the last two months, we realised my client has a pattern. The pattern where she feels she is unlovable. That everyone who is in her life is because they do not have another choice and they are sticking around because of it.

It took so much courage for this woman to admit this truth of her life. That she feels she is not worthy of being loved.

And as we deep dived in this pattern, peeling the layers. Yesterday in our call we discovered an important layer to it. The conditioning in her system is that appreciation = love. And when she does not receive or feel appreciated she feels unloved. She also was appreciated when she stuck to the society norms. However doing so was suffocating for her. And so she always did what she really loved. Being different all her life.

All these years, being different was fed in her system as being unloved. Though she was leading a life listening to her inner cues, she mostly felt empty because of it.

We first moved through this limiting belief in the form of acceptance.

The flowering of love follows the burgeoning of acceptance. Acceptance is based on taking the soft approach to life. The path of love is the path of acceptance, which is not a technique but more of seeing. In order to accept something about yourself, and especially something uncomfortable, it first must be recognised. This kind of acceptance takes place when you build the courage to look into your own shadow of constriction. What is it that is constricting you? If you have the courage to honour and listen to the wound within, everything will change for you. You will discover that if something is wound around you, constricting you, it must have a purpose, and that purpose is to unwind.

~ Richard Rudd, The Gene Keys

And my client showed this courage the other day.

Intertwining the two stories…….

I think by now you get it. You get how these two stories are interconnected for all of us to learn the essence of our living. Most of the times in life, we go with the flow of the society norms because we feel safe in it. It is also the only known way of measuring success for us. Our upbringing is like that. And as long as you are content with this flow, dance with this flow :)

When the inner nudging start, here are some succinct snippets for you to sit with your favourite beverage and taste and feel the words ahead,

• If you are content with where you are, celebrate it!
  

• If you are not content with where you are, first ask yourself if this discontentment is something of my own? Or am I basing it on what ‘success’ ‘contentment’ means to the society? Is that my benchmark?
  
  If yes, then is it really the way I want to feel content?
  If not, what is my definition of contentment?
  

• If you want to carve a different path for you today, know that you can. It is possible. 4 gender inhibitors which you will have to navigate for this - external validation, self doubt, judgement and fear.
  
  Sit with each one of these and ask yourself how do these affect me and what can I do unwind its constriction around me.
  

• Being different is a strength. How can you celebrate your being different everyday from today? What does your being different bring to any room you enter? How can you embrace your being different with love?
  

• There is no right or wrong in the way we lead our lives. There is only a way which feels apt. What is that apt way for you today?
  

• Age is just a number. You can redefine your life, career or a relationship at any age. All you will need to start with is the acceptance and then the courage to unwind the current constriction.

I am here to answer any of your questions. Get inspired by your story. And just listen to what you have to say. Feel invited to hit reply and share.

I invite you to read and take on this email and see what resonates for you. Even read it a few times this week, and you will catch something new each time.

Hit reply,

Vent

Speak out

Share it out

Speak out what is your truth behind closed doors, and you wish to untangle.

​All women are so fucking courageous in their soul that they are made to navigate this. I have never met one that is not.

All women are so fucking unique, yet we can seem to unknowingly block how we feel and experience ourselves- when such depths of how we see, taste and be who we are genuinely is SUBLIME.

Your reply could be your micro step to admitting to yourself that you are ready to change the way you approach these times, your existence because you MATTER. It could acknowledge how your self-development journey is so committed, yet you have never celebrated it.

Enjoy......

I love you all.

Xx Pradnya xX

The juicy things happening in my life in upcoming weeks...

1. I will be replying to all of you who email me your insights on this newsletter.
   

2. For the entire month of May, I am talking about how to get unstuck at your career. Providing guidance to your specific questions and scenarios. Join Get Unstuck here.
   

3. Not sure how to take up a leadership role? Or feel you are still not ready? Join the FREE webinar Unveiling the Patterns of Successful Women Leaders happening on 10-May-2024. Register here.
   

4. Are you ready to stand out at your work place with authority? However not sure how? Join the next cohort of The Rose Sisterhood. Your place to start your journey for that 35% hike, promotion, role change or saying ‘yes’ to a leadership role - https://bit.ly/4aaczRk