Turning Critique into Catalyst: Mastering Negative Feedback

This week I have been ruminating on which topic should I write my newsletter. I had 2-3 options but none of them felt a ‘hell yeah’. And then something happened yesterday which gave me the fuel for this newsletter.

In my 10 years career as a facilitator, I received a not so good feedback for one of my sessions conducted recently. And I was in complete distress. Of course my first reaction was of palpitation and increased heart rate.

So I bring my story of this episode to help you deal with a negative feedback in your life. Also remember, a performance appraisal is also a feedback and this newsletter will help you to navigate a not so good performance appraisal discussion with your Manager.

First Phase of Denial
The very first reaction of mine was as I mentioned an unsettled nervous system. I also started questioning my worth. That am I really good enough to conduct the session? Then I went into a defensive mode on how biased the assessor is and how inaccurately I have been assessed. Then I went to rage and anger. Followed by “Never ever am I going to this institute again to conduct a session”.

Bringing Some Sense and Regulation
I had to vent this out. The rage I was feeling inside. I sat for my shamta practice which is a one minute deep breathing exercise. With an unsettled nervous system I was unable to think it through.

Once I finished with that. I sat with the feedback again.

True Analysis
I went through each point of the feedback. And asked myself, “Is this really true for my session?”

And for me 90% of the feedback did not resonate. I want to highlight an important aspect here. Sometimes we just deny or ignore a negative feedback or run away from it. So I asked myself, if I am doing that. And the answer was no. I had testimonials of my participants which were over the roof. In my heart I also knew that my success that day was making the most reserved and silent participants speak up and share their value on the table. I did not need any other proof for myself than this.

When there is a feedback which really resonates with you in terms of improvement, I want to add something for you. There is medicine in feedback when given in a non biased and an explorative way. So listen to that medicine. It will only help you to grow.

Communication
I went ahead and spoke with the CEO of the training institute through which I had conducted the session. I did this not from a defensive energy rather trying to understand if I am missing out on something the way my feedback was shared. Also putting forth the points of feedback which truly did not resonate with me. Bringing tangible results of the participants’ feedback and testimonials.

This is an important aspect of a performance appraisal meeting. If you do not agree with your Manager’s feedback, bring your perspective in an explorative way along with incidents, numbers or results which speak otherwise.

Closing the Chapter
I took my lesson from the feedback. I realised how super cool is my nervous system to do all the above in a span of 3 hours. By bed time I was so ok with this feedback. And did not attach my worth to it. Took it in a neutral way. Never ever take feedback personally. Take it as a step to improve your work.

As I was sleeping I narrated this entire story to my 5 year old and claimed to myself that I am freaking proud of the way I handled the feedback. And then asked him a question about, “So what will you do when you receive a criticism?” Only to realise he was fast asleep 😅 

Reminding me to do the same!

We are humans and we are not supposed to be perfect. Our nature is to evolve with our mistakes. So be kind to yourself and others. While providing feedback to others also remember, how to provide a feedback where the person feels empowered rather then worthless. No one likes to be on the other side of this rope for sure!

I invite you to read and take on this email and see what resonates for you. Even read it a few times this week, and you will catch something new each time.

Hit reply,

Vent

Speak out

Share it out

Speak out what is your truth behind closed doors, and you wish to untangle.

​All women are so fucking courageous in their soul that they are made to navigate this. I have never met one that is not.

All women are so fucking unique, yet we can seem to unknowingly block how we feel and experience ourselves- when such depths of how we see, taste and be who we are genuinely is SUBLIME.

Your reply could be your micro step to admitting to yourself that you are ready to change the way you approach these times, your existence because you MATTER. It could acknowledge how your self-development journey is so committed, yet you have never celebrated it.

Enjoy......

I love you all.

Xx Pradnya xX

The juicy things happening in my life in upcoming weeks...

1. I will be replying to all of you who email me your insights on this newsletter.
   

2. For the entire month of April, I am talking about Judgement self doubt on my LinkedIn. Peeling off more layers for you to navigate this emotion in a better way. We deserve to be liberated and lead a freer life! Join The Judgement Corner here.
   

3. Are you ready to stand out at your work place with authority? However not sure how? Join the next cohort of The Rose Sisterhood. Your place to start your journey for that 35% hike, promotion, role change or saying ‘yes’ to a leadership role - https://bit.ly/4aaczRk